Friday, February 6, 2015

What is the Lord?

The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away (Job 1:21)

What is the Lord?

The Lord is he who gives and who takes back what he gives.

If he did not give, he would not be the Lord. If he did not take back, he would not be the Lord.

The Lord gives and takes, gives because he takes, he takes and gives and takes.

The Lord is what appears between give and take, he is the promise that I will be given to, he is the fear that they will take from me. The Lord is my hope because he is my fear. He is my hope and my fear, because I am not the Lord. If I were the Lord, I would have no hope, I would have no fear. I would do the giving and the taking.

I am the one given to, the one from whom they take. I kneel before the Lord, because the Lord has taken away, because the Lord has given, because he took nothing other than what he gave. He gave it, for if he has taken it, he must have given it to me before. 

The Lord, my Master, sometimes allows me to be called "mister", with an "i", and sometimes does not, and then my name changes. It becomes "hey, you."

The Lord showed me my face in the mirror, dressed as I was in the clothes of the Lord, and told me: "be afraid." He told me it is terrible that a man with my face could ever think of becoming the Lord, with a capital "L."

And I was afraid. And when he saw I was afraid, the Lord gave unto me. And when I had been used to being afraid, the Lord took back what he gave.

Now I am used to being afraid, and I don't scare anyone anymore. And I certainly don't scare the Lord. No. Now all I do is hope and fear, fear and hope.

And the Lord smiles.

Originally published in Greek, Lenin Reloaded, 5 November 2014.

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